Secondary Infertility

Recently I read an article about secondary infertility (SI). SI is when you conceive your first child without any problems, but must need medical intervention to conceive again. Many times people don't know why they can't conceive. They may try for a long time because they don't know there's a problem. The lady said because she conceived naturally the first time she finds people are harsh with her about infertility. She said she receives rude comments on how she has one and should be happy from those still struggling to have the one.

I was shocked on many levels while reading the article. I'm on or have been on both sides of her struggle. I've been one to have little sympathy for someone with SI. I figure if they did it naturally once they can do it again. Truthfully we have a VERY slim chance of getting pregnant each month meaning it could happen naturally, just not likely. Those with SI could have just hit the month perfectly early on, gotten pregnant, then realized they have a problem when trying for number two. In 10 years I could always fall pregnant like someone with SI did in their first months of ttc. Thursday I was talking with someone from my church who just learned she was pregnant. A said she can go a year without a period then bleed for 60 days. Because of her crazy cycle A went on birth control just to have more of a handle on her cycle. She said they had just gotten off the pill so they could start ttc and immediately got pregnant. If she was someone who was always on the pill she might not know she is dealing with fertility issues.

Speaking of A being pregnant, please keep her and her baby in your prayers. Although she has two little boys, A has been pregnant many times, but doesn't always make it past the first trimester. The Bible says all the days of our lives were written down before one came to pass. In the medical world day one is after one full day post conception. This little one is over seven weeks old. A needs peace during this time. She said she isn't telling about the pregnancy for fear of losing it any day. A doesn't need to live in fear so please pray for her.

The second way I relate to the article is ttc after having Kaitlyn. People really do have little sympathy for those still on the infertility journey. You know I don't think most people really want sympathy; just not to be treated, talked about, ect... like we're second class citizens because we are willing to keep marching down this rocky road.

Yesterday I was thinking of all the politicians who hold my fertility and thousands of others in their hands. More then likely it is either someone who has chosen not to have kids or has naturally had all the children they desired. It's someone who infertility hasn't graced their door step. They have no idea the emotional, physical, and financial struggle that infertility brings to a couple. I have thought about this often. Especially because in the UK I can legally on have two embryos put in at a time. If I had a choice I would put three in hoping one would "stick". In all my pondering I came back to the same thing I've heard a couple times and know others have heard many times and that is those with infertility shouldn't do more then pray and keep trying. There are those who believe fertility treatments are wrong. Of course the majority of those who believe that don't deal with infertility. I remember where I was the first time someone questioned the ethics behind fertility treatments. My thought was girl you haven't even started ttc. Knowing her other medical problems she is dealing with, infertility could easily be one of them. If she does decide to try she may be singing a different tune.

Anyway, I was going through this random dialogue in my head. To those who say fertility treatments - especially IVF - are wrong...

Look this baby in the eyes and tell her she was never supposed to be.

Tell her if you had your choice she never would have been.

Oh come on don't be like that. Yes, I know it's harder to say, "I wish you were never born when looking a baby in the eyes."

Is this easier? Go ahead and tell us we don't deserve children, but when you do make sure you back it with scripture not just your fertile minded opinion.

Now stop being a coward and trying to hide behind the Bible to justify Kaitlyn having never come to existence. If you read your Bible you would know your excuse doesn't hold water.

We could mix the ingredients together all we want - like the sperm and egg in an IVF - but we can't give it life. God is the giver of life. (Genesis 2:7) The doctor could inject as many sperm into eggs he wants, but only God can breathe the breath of life into it.

Psalms 139:13-16

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

All the days. God knew how Kaitlyn would be conceived. Life begins at conception... He planned it. He chose not to give life to some of the other embryos the doctor tried to create. In a couple weeks we will learn if He has chosen to allow us to keep some of those embryos. And next month we will learn if He has chosen for Kaitlyn to be an only child or a big sister.

Dee Dee Pleated Dress

The Dee Dee Pleated Dress ebook just became available on You Can Make This (YCMT). You can check out other patterns by Nanoo Designs on YCMT too or visit the author's blog for more links on where to buy her patterns.

I would just like to apologize in advance to all the authors I have patterns from. Kaitlyn never seems to photo well in your designs, but trust me it's all her. She used to be wonderful at having a quick smile when I put a camera before her, but now... well, it's all a game. Let's see how much I can run around and be "cute" before mom loses her patients and puts the camera away. Tonight I gave up. With that disclaimer please know these pictures do not show how nice the dress is, but what a stinker the one wearing it can be.

By the way, the dress looks big on her because I made it in a size 2 yet she is still in 18 months. Seeing how she has plenty of clothes for right now I'm trying to plan for when she outgrows them in a couple months. Seeing how we are firmly moving into fall around here she will mostly be wearing this dress with a long sleeve shirt and knit tights.

Beat the child it will not die...

...or will it? Now would be a good time for mom and dad to visit. Someone else needs to take care of this child for a while. I've had it! Yesterday I walked into her room to find this...

And today, this...

I like to call these the after pictures.

I've never wanted to spank her more. It's not just that she made a mess, but she broke stuff too. There was a double picture frame of Neal's parents on the shelf that is now two separate frames. Thank goodness they have loops on the back to hang them from because they can no longer stand up. She knocked her big picture off the wall and busted part of the Plexiglas. I had to really work at getting it back together enough to hang on the wall.

And one other complaint now that I'm on a roll... Who in the world picked out that purple carpet?!!! All our upstairs carpet is this lovely purple color. Just so Blues Clues fans don't feel left out with all our crazy Barney carpet we have your carpet downstairs. That's right purple upstairs and blue down.

Great... now I have to feed my little room wrecker.

Growing Up

It's time we let Kaitlyn grow up a little. I was hoping we could pack up her crib and worry about this at our next house, but it looks like me must face it here. My plan had been when we PCS from here and FINALLY get our household goods back to put up her crib minus the front rail. Recently Kaitlyn has been throwing her leg over the railing when I put it down to get her out. I know she must know she could crawl out even when the railing is up. Today I walked in her room after her morning nap to find her on her belly (awake) with her feet up on the rail. Now tell me how do you get your feet up on a high rail while on your belly??? She did it. I decided that was it. It was time to take the rail off. I would rather her fall 18" from the mattress rather then over the rail. I figured it would be safer anyway.

At first she didn't even want to look at the crib. She would bury her face in my shoulder and cry after looking at it. I put a king size pillow and a step stool on the floor and she still didn't care to check out her bed.

It took our second trip upstairs for her to crawl on the bed. By the way, other then the railing missing this is how her bed normally looks; crowded with stuffed animals. There is a shelf just above her crib that she has started pulling stuffed animals off of when she is supposed to be napping. I come in to find a whole zoo in her bed.

Her first nap in the newly changed bed didn't happen. She cried, got out of bed, went through her closet and dresser, pulled out toys and several other things while she should have been sleeping. Just because she wasn't sleeping didn't mean she could come out of her room. She normally naps for 2 hours in the afternoon so I made her stay in her room for two hours. She eventually opened her door to discover the gate I put across the doorway.

Tonight didn't go much better. She wanted to go down at first, but by the time I made it downstairs she was bawling. Her room was dark so I figured she wouldn't be playing around. After a bit of crying we heard her hit the ground. She started screaming more. I went in for her and as soon as Neal came in she wanted him. After a bit of holding her he finally laid down on our bed with her and she passed out. Afterwards he put her back in her bed. Hopefully she will stay on it tonight. I did take her long narrow pillow that she used to sleep with and put it next to the edge of the bed. I'm hoping it will help a little in keeping her on the bed. Maybe I should be checking on her rather then typing here.

Yesterday

Yesterday was a trail. It started with me getting Kaitlyn ready then running upstairs to finished getting ready myself. I came down to find this...

Pens and highlighters all over the couch and my baby's top untied and around her waist with blue and orange highlighter on her belly. =(

I needed to mail a package and drive an hour to pick up some meds. After a bit of debating I decided to mail the package first. Neal called asking if we wanted to have lunch with him. His plan was to get sandwiches from the commissary and eat them at the park. He kept saying it was a nice day. He was adamant about doing it. I didn't think it was a good idea, but let him make the choice. We went to the park... Neal said the wind wasn't blowing; as if that made it being 61 and me in a tank top better. When the wind blows here it blows crazy hard. You could be trying to walk while one leg beats the other with each step. It's worse around the flight line. Anyway, we walk out to the park and it's windy. I'm grumpy because I'm cold and and my hair keeps flying in my face while I'm trying to eat. Kaitlyn's top was sleeveless too and she was cold. I put a sweatshirt jacket on her and all she wanted to do was play.

Neal flipped out a bit much about me letting Kaitlyn climb up the play equipment and sliding on her own. I watched her and was confident she would stay away from the open climbing areas like where the monkey bars start and so forth.

Kaitlyn loved the biggest slide. She would crawl most of the way from the bottom until she reached the slide.

Once at the top of the slide she would stand up for a moment then finally pick a way to slide down. Many times it was feet first, on her belly.

I know what you're thinking, the day doesn't sound so bad. Well... After getting home from picking up the meds (issues at the clinic) I put Kaitlyn to bed. She didn't want to sleep. Go figure. The child missed one nap and was just in time for #2 and didn't want it. I left her in bed anyway knowing she would eventually fall asleep and wake up much more happy. Just before Neal came home I heard her start making noise. Him and I are chatting just after he walked in the door when I heard a thud. Neal asked what it was. In the calmest voice I told him to go see if Kaitlyn was still in her bed. Of course she wasn't. The crib rail was down (Oops) and my naked - yes, NAKED - child was in Neal's arms screaming when I made it up the stairs. Shortly after I put her down she took off her diaper and dress top. Her diaper was still dry, but her sheets were wet. She spent a good while crying about her fall. I'm wondering if she will think twice before doing it again??? We eventually got her diapered and downstairs. It seemed like no time had passed when Neal starts flipping out. Well, maybe he wasn't "flipping out" as much as forcefully saying "She just dropped her diaper after going poop." He just sat there while Kaitlyn had the diaper still attached around one ankle. I picked her up and he grabbed the diaper. We did one of our now famous bathroom runs were we put our dirty child in the tub for a good scrubbing.

Somehow we made it through the day only to have the dogs bark this morning waking us all up.

Warming Up

On the weekends when Neal is home and wanting to hug the bed for as long as possible I usually get Kaitlyn up and go downstairs. Some times she wakes up cold so I put her in bed with me. This past weekend I popped her in bed with Neal. As soon as she is warm or close to it she jumps up and starts playing with stuff on the headboard.

One Of Those Days

No Kaitlyn, that isn't a hat.

All-In-One Romper

I thought it was about time I showed you pictures of Kaitlyn in the All-In-One Romper I made a couple weeks ago. She wasn't the best model for me yesterday I wish I would have tried again later. I took these right before we left for the post office.

This shot is blurry because she was running around.

She wore this to church a couple weeks ago and afterwards we all had a picnic at a local park. Some locals came walking up and a girl about 10-12 said, "Look that girl is wearing a clown suit." I was shocked she was so rude. Do children in the UK never wear colorful clothes? Personally I think it's cute. The one thing I would change if I had it to do all over again is the pleats at the bottom. Because the fabric is so bright you really can't tell if it's pleated or ruffled. I think ruffling it would have been easier.

One other thing about the romper is the sizing starts at 24 months. I didn't know this when I bought the ebook or I probably would have chosen a different pattern. It still fits Kaitlyn, but the legs should be shorter and the crotch not almost down to her knees. =)

Cheese!

Kaitlyn must have her daily cheese. Some times even if she has already had it she will beg for more. We took this video a couple days ago. Kaitlyn had cheese earlier in the day, but it wasn't enough. She is trying to get her fingers between the seal and fridge to open the door. She has been working on perfecting her door opening abilities for a couple months now. Neal said once she figures it out we will have to get a child lock for the fridge. I believe he is right. You may have to turn up your volume to hear her say "Cheese, cheese, cheese...". By the way we don't normally let her run around in a diaper, but we have had really hot days and with no AC we decided she could sport a diaper in the house. One day I let her greet Neal at the door and he started to panic with worry that our neighbors may think we let her run around like this all the time. hehehe... I told you we never allow it. LOL... Oh, do you like her special ponytail in the video? That will tell you how hot it is. She doesn't have thick hair, but I pulled it up half hazard to help keep her cooler.