Tuesday, February 11, 2014

To Many Babies

We need to slow down the baby train.  Between Neal and I we've had three cousins give birth in the last six and a half months and five more will have babies over the next 6-7 months.  This is getting excessive...

I was talking to a friend recently.  She wanted to know if or when she gets pregnant if she should tell me.  I have to wonder if this is a common thought people have.  It's not the first time baby news has been hidden from me.  Just in case anyone is wondering it's better to tell those of us your news up front.  Perhaps even in private before you announce it to the world.  We need to know you care enough about our feelings to allow us a few moments to process the news.  It doesn't mean we're jealous.  It doesn't mean we're not happy for you.  It just means we need a moment to digest the news.  If we smile, but don't just for joy, don't take it personal; we're still digesting.  Every time a family member or someone I'm close to announces they're pregnant, I have to check my feels.  You all may find this excessive and unnecessary, but it's part of the coping process.  I ask myself how I feel about the pregnancy and really go through my feelings.  It's like checking the moister in your flower pots.  Test each one to make sure it's good and you move on. Most of the time I come to that I'm okay with it.  I've found if I check my feelings first, they don't blindside me later. 

Recently I spoke with someone who was never able to have children of her own.  She said, "You can feel perfectly fine.  A year, three years go by and suddenly the feelings pop up."  I appreciate having her in my life.  She's one of the few people I see often who understands this crazy world of infertility.  One of the ladies who helped me Sunday shared her story.  I knew she had a third grader because he was in my Children's Church class last year.  Assumed she had adult children, but it turns out her son is the one and only.  She was told she would never have children and he's the happy little blessing they got nine years ago.

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