Sunday, June 5, 2011

Don't Tell Daddy

My child is a riot.  Tonight she was sitting on the toilet when she started playing with a water gun.  Why?  I have no idea.  I came into the bathroom to shoo her off the toilet and into the tub when she began to freak out.  I assumed her drama was because she was going to bed soon and didn't want to get in the tub.  Oh, that I could be so lucky.  She had pulled the little plug out of the gun and it fell in the toilet.  She pointed at it while screaming, "Get it!  Get it out!"  I quickly let her know I wasn't putting my hand in there.  I was considering flushing the toilet and calling it done, but I think she might have had a nervous breakdown.  Okay maybe not, but the drama would have been unbearable if I had.  I told her to get it at which point she informed me she would not, that I had to.  While thinking about flushing it I filled the gun up with water and squirted her.  I told her it works just fine without the plug.  Suddenly she was blocking out everything I was saying and read my mind.  I was telling her to get in the tub then I would TRY to use something to get it out.  She heard, "I'm going to flush it!"  Her shrieking panic shifted to, "Don't flush it!  Don't flush it!"  Now how did she know I was thinking about flushing it?  I finally had to pull my naked child aside and get her to calm down.  Not an easy task.  I explained that I was going to put something in the toilet and TRY to get it out; however, I would not put my hand in the toilet and if I couldn't get it I would flush it.  Kj, "DON'T FLUSH IT!"  I again got her settled down and put her in the tub.  She watched closely as I dipped an empty conditioner bottle in the toilet and slowly slid the plastic piece up the side of the toilet.  The toilet paper stuck to it worked to my advantage; it made it stay on the side of the toilet.  I told Kj to get it out now.  Although she was upset about putting her hand in the toilet she was more game with it out of the "water".  She did a lot of complaining while shifting from the toilet to the sink with a nasty, toilet paper covered, plastic piece.  I turned on the water and gave her plenty of soap and instructions on how to clean it.  As soon as it was all said and done she looked at me and said, "don't tell Daddy."  Are you kidding me?  She just acted like Sadie ate another bag of chocolate then fell into a pool all over a little plastic piece that she didn't have to have and she doesn't want me sharing?  What's a mom to do?  I bathed and dressed her then called Neal.  I barely got, "Guess what your child did." out before she started spilling the beans.  By the way, when she said "don't tell Daddy" I told her, "oh, I'm telling Daddy."

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